Mario-isms


Patty watched Mario two weeks ago and couldn’t help but write down a few “Mario-isms” as she calls his quotes. Here ya go…(my commentary to Patty’s narrative is in parenthesis).

Mario was getting dressed, picked up a shirt and said “Don’t even think of me wearing this, it is too small, I don’t know why Mom keeps packing it.” I said, well you could give it to some poor little boy to wear and he said “no, I am going to sell it.”

(Mario is quite the capitalist. He wants to sell anything in order to get money in his pocket. His latest has been to work on birdhouses (with Peepaw) to sell for $90).

While we were going near a pair of Canadian Geese’s nest where they are hatching an egg, the geese kept hissing at us and coming toward us and we kept running away. We went on the bridge which is above the nest and the geese were still mad at us for being too near them. Mario yelled to the geese, “I am a citizen of mankind, I am only trying to help you protect your egg.”

(He is insane).

While he was eating breakfast, he looked out of the sun room windows and saw a huge bird sitting on a rock at the pond. We went on the patio and the bird took flight, the wing span was enormous. Mario excitedly said, “I know what that big bird is, I saw it on WildKratts, it is a Harris hawk they will eat geese and other birds and animals.” I don’t know if that is the spelling of the bird’s name, but that is how it sounded. Anyway, later we were walking around the pond and saw some whitish bird feathers on the ground. I said maybe the Harris hawk had eaten the bird. Mario said “no, Grandma, they won’t eat anything that is white”, he took hold of the white scarf I was wearing and said, “they wouldn’t attack you, Grandma, because you are wearing this white scarf.” I asked him if he knew why they wouldn’t eat anything white and he said “will there is a legend that a white snake attacked and killed a Harris hawk and that probably is why they are afraid of white.” (I don’t know how true the legend is, but it a good story.)

(I will let him watch PBS WildKratts any time because he learns so much from that show – he tells me about animals I have never heard of in my 41 years).

I taped the inauguration of Pope Francis and while Mario was here, I would watch it (in pieces because of its length). I told Mario to look at the man at the altar and I started tell him who it was, before I could explain who it was Mario said “I know that is the Pope and he is important. In our States, the Popes wear red”. I explained to him that they were cardinals, etc. He said “okay Grandma”. He apparently had seen the election of the Pope and it stuck with him.

(When he was on the computer and the news popped up, he saw the Pope and said “Grandma really likes that man.”).

While on the I-Pad he was checking on his program/game about the Simpsons and wanted to buy some “donuts” (These “free”games are sure not “free”, they entice the kids to play and then they entice them to buy stuff to advance to the next level, in this game it is donuts) anyway, he currently had 107 donuts and wanted me to buy more. I said no, we will earn them a little at a time. Well, Mr. Impatience doesn’t want to wait so he was bargaining with me to buy the donuts. He held up his index finger on one hand and then tried to make two zeros on the other hand to make the sign of 100 and then add seven. (He was so serious and cute while trying to show me the number 107 on his fingers) and then if we buy 100 more how many he would have and then proceeded to tell me what he could get with that many donuts. Smart kid. I put him off buying them. He finally gave up on me.

(He has perseverance when it comes to money).

While running in the house, he slipped and fell forward (didn’t hurt him) but he smiled and said “I think I just cracked my donut” and laughed and laughed (so did Joe and I). What an entertainer!

(He calls his privates a range of names – lately he says “I crushed my batteries.” Interesting).

When he and Maria were here, I kept getting after them to eat healthy things (apples, and other fruit), so one day he was eating lunch and had trail bologna and cheese and I had given him some potato chips. He said he wanted more meat and cheese, but didn’t want to eat any bad stuff for two days, so didn’t eat the chips.

(He is definitely conscious of his body image. He ate a ton of cake the other night and his stomach was distended. He lifted up his shirt and said “I can’t do that again. I look horrible.”).

And there we have it. He keeps us all laughing, that kid. Thanks, Patty, for recording It all.

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