No one always gets what they think they will get


I am sitting here on my computer with the tv blaring behind me. My hubby is watching Conan O’Brien’s last show, and I cannot help but glance over my shoulder every time I hear something that catches my ear.  I am a sentimental soul so when Conan starts thanking his viewers for watching him and talking about having no regrets, my ears perk up.  He ends with a request to his viewers, especially the younger ones.  I paraphrase: “Do not be cynical. No one always gets what they think they will get and that is life.  Just be thoughtful and kind and it will work out.” I appreciate that he chose to give these words to his fans and viewers – words that validate why we love him. Too often we get caught up in seeing the worse in every person, thing, event in front of us that we auto pilot into cynical and agitated and abrasive. Conan could have easily done this on his last night but he chose to take himself to a higher and more peaceful state, and in the wake of his choice, he took his fans and viewers there, also.  I  learned about this concept of assuming positive intention through a culture shaping program that I lead at my work. The concept resonated with me from the moment I learned of it, and I work to practice it every day between the emails I receive, the calls I answer, and the colleagues and clients I interact with daily. It is tempting to go to auto pilot, which for me is assuming the most negative intention possible out of anything.  I get an email that questions something I did and I automatically assume that I did something wrong; I have someone tell me that they don’t need me to work on something and I automatically assume that they think I cannot complete the task….  But, if I can just assume positive intention, my mood and thoughts leap forward.  Just one email or one meeting where I assume the positive in someone propels me in a better direction and the end of my day feels lighter, like I can breathe easier.  So, thank you Conan for reinforcing this concept for me tonight as I begin to wade through my emails from work. You have reversed my auto pilot to positive!

3 thoughts on “No one always gets what they think they will get

  1. Colette says:

    Hey Mary – just read your latest entry … the one about Conan’s thank you to his audience on his final night. So happy to come upon it. This fits in the category of – things you come across that seem random, but are in actuality, part of your process. Anyhoo – I really appreciated his words. And even though I am not in the same circumstance as him, the lesson still applies … don’t be cynical, nobody gets everything they want, just be kind and everything will work out. LOVE IT ! And I definitely needed ot hear that today. So, in case you’re ever sitting there wondering – gosh why bother ot write this, who in the heck will ever care ? Um, I just did. Thanks, Colette

    • marymenkedick says:

      Colette! Thanks so much for the response. I so very much appreciate it as I wind my way through blog land. I hope you are doing super great in CA land – I met a woman from CA (used to be in LA but now is in SF) here in Cancun (yes, I am in Cancun this week!) and I immediately thought of you (like I do whenever I meet a Californian!). I have caught myself being cynical while here in Cancun with all of Jon’s friends who are drinking heavily in the pool and are loud as heck running around like frat boys again. But then out came running these two women who are very well educated and very thoughtful, and they jumped right in the pool with those guys and begin hoopin’ and hollerin’ with all of ’em having a grand ol’ time. It was a sharp reminder that I have got to stop being so cynical about how people may act and what they may enjoy, and just allow myself enjoy the moment. I may not want to be in this situation every day; but for now, maybe it is ok and where I need to be. After all, these people are Jon’s co-workers and he enjoys his job (not so much the partying like madmen, but you can’t have everything) so I should look at it for what it is and just go with it. And so I did. And now it is 12:30 am and a new day is here and I have some hilarious memories from yesterday to remember. With that, I am hitting the sack. Take care of yourself! Love ya girlie! Mary

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